New Poll: 80% of Palestinian Men are Attracted to Israeli Women

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By Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as Cliff Magnum) Indicating a seismic shift in public opinion from just six months ago, a poll conducted by the Palestinian Center for Policy and Survey Research (PSR) in the West Bank and Gaza Strip revealed that close to 80% of Palestinian men want to have sex with at least one […]

After Being Stood up by Saudi King, Obama Goes on Epic Drinking Binge

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  By Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as ‘Cliff Magnum‘) Stunned by the news that Saudi King Salman had refused his invitation to attend a landmark summit, President Barack Obama reportedly spent Saturday night crawling from pub to pub across Washington, D.C. “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!” Obama shrieked before chugging down […]

Suspected Suicide Bomber, Awan Boudi, Captured at California McDonald’s

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By Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as ‘Cliff Magnum‘) FBI agents swarmed a McDonald’s in Los Angeles and arrested an alleged suicide bomber linked to the Syria-based Nusra Front on Wednesday. The Lebanese daily Al-Pharteen identified the accused martyr in the making as 42-year-old Awan Boudi, a resident of the southern Lebanese village of Jezzine. “The Feds slapped […]

Israeli Tour Guide Fools Israelis into Believing They’re in Egypt

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by Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as Cliff Magnum) Shlomi Bezalel, a licensed private tour guide, tricked 75 Israeli tourists into thinking that they were visiting Cairo. In fact, the group never left Israel. “This was supposed to be a romantic getaway with my girlfriend. I became suspicious when I saw my wife waddling on the banks of the […]

Confused Canadian Fighter Pilot Bombs Wrong Middle Eastern Country

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by Gidon Ben-Zvi, The Mideast Beast  A lone, disoriented Canadian pilot has inadvertently joined Saudi Arabia in a bombing run over military installations in Yemen held by Shiite rebels. “I guess I zigged when I should’ve zagged,” Captain Luc Forget said after flipping a bitch midair and returning to base. Forget normally flies sorties over ISIS-held territory […]

Israel Intercepts One Ton of Radioactive Iranian Condoms Bound for Gaza

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by Gidon Ben-Zvi, The Israeli Daily The Israeli Navy says it seized a ship early on Sunday that it claims Iran was using to smuggle tens of thousands of radioactive rubbers to Palestinian militants in the Gaza Strip. “Electronic scanners detected a floating advertisement for sexual health and happiness,” Israeli Defense Minister Moshe Ya’alon said. […]

Bibi’s Big Day: When Words Matter…And When They Don’t

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The consensus, both within Israel and abroad, is that Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu snatched an electoral victory from the jaws of imminent defeat by both resorting to race baiting and burying the idea of a two-state solution. Problem is, not one of the Israeli premier’s many detractors can cite a single scintilla of hard evidence […]