The Folly of Partition: ICC Ruling Seals Fate of Gaza Residents

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Authors: Harry and Gidon Ben-Zvi The International Criminal Court’s (ICC) announcement that it would pursue a war crimes probe against Israel over the summer war in Gaza is but the latest twist in the quixotic quest to end the Israeli-Arab conflict. Israel’s 2005 de-facto partition via unilateral withdrawal from the Gaza Strip set the spark […]

Hamas Condemnation of Charlie Hebdo a Satirical Bit

by Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as Cliff Magnum) Palestinian Islamist group Hamas’s condemnation of the attack on French satirical weekly Charlie Hebdo’s offices is itself a warped attempt at satire, The Israeli Daily reports. “With Qatar evicting [Hamas political leader] Khaled Mashal, we’re on the market for a new kingdom. Hamas is thus aligning itself with Queen Elizabeth, Vladimir […]

Turkish President: Israeli Women Should Cook for their Men

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by Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as Cliff Magnum) Turkey’s president, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, has accused the Israeli government of bribing its women to pursue careers outside of motherhood so as to leave the country’s male population hungry, frustrated and fixing for a fight. Erdogan mocked Israel’s image as a liberated, democratic society, noting that “They call it […]

FBI: SYRIAN SPY CRASHED 2014 WHITE HOUSE HANUKKAH PARTY

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by Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as Cliff Magnum) The FBI released a statement on Monday confirming that, “A Syrian General Security Directorate agent was identified and apprehended during the official reception to celebrate the Jewish festival of Hanukkah.” Interrogated by Federal Agents, the spy revealed his motivation for crashing the gala event: “A corned beef sandwich. I was on the […]

IRANIAN REGIME CRIMINALIZES ANNOYING HABITS

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by Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as Cliff Magnum) Iranian President Hassan Rouhani said on Thursday that his office had drafted a law to ban annoying habits ruled to be ‘anti-revolutionary’ by the country’s ruling mullahs. “When I’m at mosque praying with all my heart for the destruction of the corrupt Zionist regime, there’s nothing more nerve-wracking than […]

UNITED NATIONS RECOGNIZES INDEPENDENCE OF FERGUSON, MISSOURI

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by Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as Cliff Magnum) In response to the ongoing series of protests and civil disorder the United Nations has drafted a resolution acknowledging the sovereignty of Ferguson, Missouri. “We used to kick ass and take names. But over the last few months, the United Nations has become like the smart, quiet chick in high school. […]

ISIS: “MUSLIMS DISCOVERED AMERICA…AND WE WANT IT BACK”

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by Gidon Ben-Zvi (writing as Cliff Magnum) On the heels of Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan’s claim that Muslims discovered America in the 10th century, ISIS has jumped on the bandwagon, initiating proceedings to establish its right to ownership of the entire continental United States. The multinational Jihadist conglomerate of incorporated decapitators filed papers late last week with the International […]