Desperate to sway a war-weary American public that limited strikes against Syria are needed for the United States’ long-term safety, U.S. President Barack Obama has decided on an unusual path towards building a national consensus for military action.
It is reported that the President of the United States abruptly interrupted a meeting with his national security team at the White House on Monday morning in order to go for a walk in the Rose Garden with Bo, the Obama family’s pet Portuguese Water Dog.
Following a heated exchange with the First Dog, Obama returned to his national security aids and announced that he would allow the citizens of the United States to decide on the name of the military operation – assuming there is one. By actively involving the American public, Obama hopes to gain some measure of political legitimacy to launch an attack on Syrian targets.
Obama has subsequently ordered that the top ten proposed names for the operation be declassified and prepared for public release before any military strike commences.
An unidentified senior Defense Department official with an axe to grind and a song in his heart has leaked the list to the international press:
1) Operation Velvet Fist
2) Operation September Rain (month to be changed depending on actual date of operation)
3) Operation Rock the Casbah
4) Operation Stimulus 3.0
5) Operation Tickle me Silly
6) Operation Hem and Haw
7) Operation Congressional Smack Down
8) Operation Jumpin’ Jack Flash (it’s a gas, gas, gas)
9) Operation Waltzing Damascus
10) Operation Blue Eyes
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