With discussions for a comprehensive agreement between Iran and the West on the Islamic Republic’s nuclear program seemingly deadlocked, Donald Trump has offered up his reality television show as a forum to settle all outstanding issues. Mr Trump commented, “I’ve achieved a lot, made $4 billion, ran for President, convinced people this is my real hair. I don’t see how we can’t settle centuries-old problems within the context of prime time TV. I’m as confident of this as I am that Melania married me for my winning personality and boyish good looks.”

In response, Iranian President Hassan Rouhani said on Monday that he and US President Barack Obama have agreed to appear on Season 7 of The Apprentice with the aim of finalizing a deal between Tehran and its critics. A spokesman for the Iranian leader said, “It’s a little known fact that our President is a massive fan of the music of Lil Jon, so seeing him getting so near but so far in Season 4 and then frankly robbed in the All Star Season 6, has been a massive incentive for him to go that one step further than his idol.”

The show will feature dramatic new twists and unexpected alliances as the tensions rise, the feuds mount and the pressures build. Besides Presidents Rouhani and Obama, the season’s cast will feature 14 other contestants, including Indian guru and spiritual leader Sai Baba, Canadian singer/songwriter Justin Bieber, and American computer professional Edward Snowden.

NBC has announced that the Los-Angeles-based reality game show will begin taping in January 2015. Rumors that North Korean leader and unicorn trainer Kim Jong-un will be making a special appearance in the opening episode remain unconfirmed.

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