ISRAEL TO CHANGE NAME OF JERUSALEM TO…

As the United States Supreme Court considers Jerusalem’s status on US passports, the Israeli government is seeking to deflate the negative connotations long associated with its capital city by submitting a referendum to the citizens of Israel that will decide on a new name and motto for the current ‘Jerusalem: God’s Feisty Kitty’.

While not a single Israeli government ministry was available for comment on the decision to hold a snap vote, TID has obtained an as yet unconfirmed list of the choices that await Israeli citizens at the ballot box.

On January 4, 2015, approximately 5.6 million eligible Israeli voters will reportedly have the following options to choose from:

J-Town: Where the Streets Have Three Names

J-Pad: Birthplace of the Brick

Special J: Go on a Journey, Stay for the Trip

J-Spot: Proud Sponsor of Western Civilization Since Year 0.

J-Nizzle: A Former Mayor Became Prime Minister…And Was Then Convicted of Bribery

J-Crib: Historic Site of Beauty & The Geek, Season 4

J’s Place: Hummus Wishes and Shawarma Dreams

J-Spread: Where Bar Refaeli Would Stay if Her Car Broke Down

J-Crew: GMT + 2

J-Mile: Livin’ On a Prayer

Check out my other The Israeli Daily super serious news articles here, under my witness protection name: Cliff Magnum.

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