Israeli Tour Guide Fools Israelis into Believing They’re in Egypt

Shlomi Bezalel, a licensed private tour guide, tricked 75 Israeli tourists into thinking that they were visiting Cairo. In fact, the group never left Israel.

“This was supposed to be a romantic getaway with my girlfriend. I became suspicious when I saw my wife waddling on the banks of the ‘Nile River’. What luck: that bitch has left her bedroom exactly five times since Dallas went off the air. Turns out, we were actually at a lake near our apartment building just outside Tel Aviv,” a disgruntled ‘tourist’ who chose to remain anonymous told the The Israeli Daily.

Bezalel’s ruse was far from a one-man operation. “El Al, Israel’s tourism ministry and the Israeli Ministry of Transport were all in on it,” Egyptian Tourism Minister Moheb Moghazy said on Sunday.

The unsuspecting ‘tourists’ even went hiking and swimming during their ‘visit.’

“The jig was up when we returned to the airport. An ‘Essential Egypt’ poster was torn down, revealing a ‘Discover Israel’ banner. That was the end of the adventure…and my fling with a Swedish United Nations relief worker,” the anonymous Lothario added.

Surprisingly, the real Cairo took the deception in stride. “The Egyptian government is quite flattered, actually. President al-Sisi is proud that Egypt was portrayed as a desirable place to visit. Hey, what happens at the Giza Necropolis stays at the Giza Necropolis!” Tourism Minister Moghazy enthused.

Read more Cliff Magnum exclusives for The Middle East Beast here.

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